FUSION:  A Six Step Solution to Handling Conflict across Generations

By Linda Gravett, PhD, SPHR and Robin Throckmorton, MA, SPHR

This is a true scenario that happened recently in an organization in the U.S. : 

Susan, a 35-year-old VP, stormed into the HR Director’s office after a difficult meeting with an older direct report.   Susan has been in her executive position for just six months and she has virtually no problems providing – and receiving – feedback from direct reports her own age.  There’s one person, though – William – who is unsalvageable and should be fired.  William, a 58-year-old Sales Director appears to Susan to be extremely needy.  He wants a weekly update meeting with her.  She doesn’t have time.  He doesn’t want to try new approaches to his tried and true sales model, nor does he accept any offers to join him in sales calls to try out a different routine.  When Susan offers what she views as straightforward, constructive criticism, William sulks for days.  She doesn’t have time to coddle him, so she’s going to tell the HR Director that he must go; and the sooner the better.

Depending on which side of the fence you’re on in your own organization in terms of age and position, you’re probably siding with one person or the other in this scenario.  This is typical of the conflicts that we found when interviewing people of all ages for our book, Bridging the Generation Gap.  Each generation has different approaches for handling conflict, and without knowing the differences leaders can do a great deal of damage to the morale of the organization.

Conflict around work ethic and work methods are the primary sources of conflict in today’s workplace, from small nonprofits to Fortune 500 corporations.  Plus, there are many other sources of conflict ranging from work-life balance issues, loyalty, respect, career choices, technology capabilities or availabilities, dress code to name just a few.  The conflicts themselves are the feeder but the impacts they can have on the workplace are more crucial – miscommunications, decrease in morale, increase in absenteeism, increase in turnover, loss of productivity, or loss of customers.  We don’t, however, have to accept conflict in the workplace and these potentially detrimental impacts as the norm.

We would like to share six steps to ensure you can provide constructive, effective feedback that will maximize productivity and minimize conflict, regardless of the age of the person for whom you’re providing the feedback.  We’ve named our approach the FUSION Model:  

§         Focus on the issue at hand and key points related to that issue.

§         Understand the other’s perspective and point of view.

§         Be Specific about what you think or want.

§         Be Intentional about your expectations and how they support the organization.

§         Be Open to options for handling disagreement.

§         No “hot button” language such as “you always do this”.  Try to avoid using the “you” word and use more “I” if possible.

 We use this approach to heighten understanding and minimize the negative effects of peoples’ response to potential conflict or what they view as unwarranted criticism.

Each generation responds to conflict in a different way.  In our research, we discovered in our research that Radio Babies (born between 1930 – 1945), often avoid confronting their supervisors or those they perceive to be “in authority.”  Even though they may strongly disagree with their supervisor’s approach towards the work, they aren’t as likely as members of other generations to speak out about their concerns.  They simmer and seethe instead and may consciously or unconsciously sabotage projects as a way of “getting even”.

We found Baby Boomers (born between 1946 – 1964) to be very concerned with resolving conflict through consensus building.  Rather than directly tackle issues individually, often the Boomers we interviewed expressed a desire to work through misunderstandings and disagreements in a team setting and move towards the good of the team.  Unfortunately, this approach sometimes diffuses individual accountability.

The Gen Xers (born between 1965 – 1976) we interviewed tended to be very straightforward in expressing their point of view and had very little difficulty in telling the truth as they see it when providing feedback of any type.  Many of the Xers in our research indicated a distaste for “whitewashing” an issue and prefer to “hit someone between the eyes” with a problem or concern.  This does not always result in a productive, tension-free workplace.

We also talked with Gen Ys (born between 1977 – 1991), who often confessed to an inability to cope with conflict in any form and said that they want coaching on dealing with coworkers and customers who express dissatisfaction with them or their work.  We found many in this generation to be highly sensitive to any type of criticism and even crippled by inaction and confusion when faced with open disagreement.

This research combined with the FUSION model can be applied to help handle potential conflict with different age groups:

We have found that Radio Babies are more willing to confront issues directly if the expectation for candor is established at the very beginning of a supervisor – direct report relationship.  When a person moves into a leadership role, we recommend that he or she conducts an open meeting with direct reports to establish expectations for getting the work accomplished; communicating questions and concerns; measuring success; and providing constructive feedback.  Guide the discussion so that it includes an opportunity for direct reports to bring up barriers to meeting expectations and resources they will require to ensure success.  If this is done in an open forum, all direct reports hear the same story at the same time, reducing the potential for misinterpretation.  During open forums, remember to:

• Focus on a few key points and priorities.
• Make an effort to understand their perspectives, issues, and expectations.
• Be specific and concrete about what you want.
• Be intentional about the questions you ask to ensure there’s a quality dialogue.
• Show that you’re open to change and options about accomplishing the work.
• Don’t let “hot button” language like “you always” and “you never” creep into the dialogue.

Radio Babies often respond best to a potentially confrontational dialogue if you can show them how they are adding value to the organization or - make sure they understand that their years of experience are valued by the organization.

If you have Baby Boomers on your staff, you may need to make an extra effort to encourage problem solving and handling conflict independently when it’s appropriate.  Boomers grew up in a time when they were one of many….at home, at church, at school or military service, and in the workplace.  They became accustomed to dealing with problems as a group so may need extra encouragement to handle issues independently.

We suggest that you provide Boomers with an opportunity to be reflective through self-evaluation, both during the annual review process and as an ongoing process.  We like self-evaluation questions such as:

§         Why is our organization a better place because you have worked here?

§         What do you need from your supervisor to help you contribute more to the organization?

§         What skills, knowledge, and abilities do you need to develop to keep you challenged and motivated in your work?

We certainly don’t promote discouraging Boomers from including team members in their decisions and assignments; however, we do believe an occasional laser-like focus on them as individuals and their concerns and issues will be necessary to ensure understanding and minimize miscommunication.

Reminding a Baby Boomer that team success requires each individual’s contribution will help them see that their individual success makes a difference.  The concept that a team is only as strong as its weakest link means each individual needs to work to be the best they can be for the TEAM.

If you’re in a disagreement with a Gen Xer, you’re more likely to find it necessary to park your ego at the door and be willing to receive direct and sometimes brutal honesty.  Gen Xers in particular will expect their supervisor or coworkers not to “beat around the bush” but rather to focus in on the issue or problem at hand, sooner than later.  They will be more than happy to express their point of view and expect that, regardless of your position, experience, or credentials you will be willing to listen.  Gen Xers told us in the interviews we conducted that they appreciate hearing concrete and clear expectations and then be provided with the opportunity to develop optional approaches to get the work accomplished.  Saying something like “we’ve always done it this way” is guaranteed to deepen an argument; it won’t help you make your point.  If expectations aren’t being met, they want to hear it and hear why so they have a chance to improve and do a better job meeting the end result but again not being told “how” to meet the end result.

The complaint we hear from Gen Ys more than any other is this:  older people always want to yell at us.  We probed to find out if “yelling” means actually raising one’s voice.  It does not.  It means forcefully disagreeing with them.  This behavior confuses and perplexes many Gen Ys, and they often ask for coaching around receiving criticism.  We often coach Gen Ys to:

• Focus on the issue rather than take the criticism as a personal affront.
• Understand that older people are sharing their perspective based on years of experience and expertise.  They’re not disagreeing just to be mean.
• Be specific about your confusion or need for clarification; it’s OK to speak up.
• Intentionally promote a discussion; don’t shut down just because the boss doesn’t “adore” you and your work.
• Be open to tried and true methods combined with your creative ideas.
• No name calling or assessing blame on others; take accountability for your own feelings and actions.

Like the Radio Babies, Gen Y’s will relate better in a conflictual situation if you can show them a business reason why they need to make a change for the good of the company.  Help them see how what they are doing is affecting the company and what changes they make will do to help the company.  Gen Ys are very focused on doing what is right for the good of the company. They care about the image and ethics of the company.

The bottom line to this discussion is that there is no “magic bullet” when it comes to dealing with conflict in the workplace.  Responses to conflict will vary based on numerous factors, including one’s age, and careful thought should go into handling each situation on an individual basis.  The basic FUSION framework may not change; however, sensitivity to the other person’s generation and influences on their thinking is absolutely critical.

This article is taken from content in Bridging the Generation Gap and presentations by Robin Throckmorton, MA, SPHR (Robin@StrategicHRinc.com / http://www.StrategicHRinc.com) and Linda Gravett, PhD, SPHR (Linda@Gravett.com / http://www.Gravett.com). If you have questions, feel free to visit their websites or contact either of them directly.